So it's been a busy week and it's only begun. Hate seems to be catching on, spreading like wildfire all over the world. Yet another shooting here in the states on a military installation. People showing off their bigotry and ignorance with pride and calling it "being a real American" because a blue-eyed blonde did not win the Miss. America crown. A little closer to home those that judge my child and family for our differences from them.
It would be easy to get lost in this haze of anger, hate and judgement. It would be easy to strike out at others and hand them some of the hurt and pain I am carrying around. Some days that is a tempting solution.
I drove 80+ miles again yesterday for a follow-up for our RAD kid Monkey. It was just the the three of us (Dragon Baby in the backseat) as Teddy Bear Man has been away for work going on three weeks now. The last time we tried to get to this appointment our fuel pump went out on the side of the highway. We ended up stranded there for hours and in all that time only one other car had stopped at mile marker 52. That didn't happen this time, because it wasn't our old decrepit vehicle that I drove.
It was my neighbor's air-conditioned (!) sedan. The one she insisted on loaning me so we could get to Monkey's appointment. Our vehicle isn't in the best shape right now and I was worried about missing yet another appointment. I was terrified to ask her for help (though she has always been perfectly gracious) but couldn't think of any other solution. So on Saturday I approached her about getting a ride to Monkey's appointment in a city north of us. I explained that due to a payroll issue I had no money to give her for gas but would pay her back as soon as I could do so.
My heart was throbbing in my ears when she explained she had work that day (I mistakenly thought that was her day off) and wouldn't be able to call off. Than she offered me a gift of such kindness it had me nearly in tears. She offered to drop her car off with me and get a ride from her husband to work!
I stuttered my way through the rest of the conversation with her words of kindness, selflessness and grace ringing in my ears. The sentence still echoing in my brain is when she said "I'm happy to help, I want Monkey to get better."
You see for the first time I have started being more proactive about informing people of our special family dynamics. This blog was just my first step. So I explained to my neighbor (who forever more shall be dubbed my AWESOME neighbor lady) the extent of Monkey's diagnosis. I've had conversations about Monkey's special challenges with his teacher, the lady who runs the after school program, and the pharmacist whose his special buddy.
Instead of focusing on what is and has been going wrong. Instead of focusing on the disappointments yesterday's appointment brought I am CHOOSING to focus on AWESOME neighbor lady's kindness.
Our journey towards healing and growing stronger has just begun. But I can choose the path I take, the path I lead my family down.
And no matter how heavy our load and light our pockets kindness and love will help carry us along the way.
Please don't forget to show yourself and others a little bit of kindness.